The Rumor Report

How could anyone call this boy bad?

Look at his sweet, sweet face!  Well, according to his ex-girlfriend pop princess(not Hannah Montana), Taylor Swift, he dumped her for an actress named Camilla Belle!

The dreamy Jonas brother didn’t even have the courtesy to do the deed in person, instead opted for a 27 second break-up phone-call.  Now Swift is spilling the beans to anyone who will listen, about how Joe kicked her to the curb after meeting the young Belle.

But Joe Jonas is setting the record straight and clearing his name.  What better place to air out your relationship drama than on myspace!

Here’s what the 19 year-old heart-throb had to say:

“I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful but it is simply not true,” he said. “Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me.”

As for the quick phone call, he said: “I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. A phone call can be pretty short when someone else ends the call. The only difference in this conversation was that I shared something the other person did not want to hear. ”

Jonas said he has tried to call Swift since then and gotten no response.

So there you have it.  Joe Jonas is saddened, I hope you’re happy Taylor Swift!

So the whole thing was one big PR stunt!

According to this article from Us Magazine:

Bailon and JJ’s Dirt Web site founder Jonathan Jaxson leaked the story that racy shots were stolen from her laptop “purely to get attention,” a source tells Usmagazine.com

In an interview with a local CBS affiliate, Jaxson confirmed they made up the scandal “to juice” things up.

Added Jaxson: “What better way to do that than to say that nude pictures could have been stolen from her laptop?”

Um, let’s see making yourself out to look like a total skank?  Probably not the best way to get attention.  How desperate is she anyway? It might be time to change your strategy, Ms. Bailon.

It sucks to be John McCain these days.  First he loses the election, no thanks to Caribou Barbie.  And now, “news” about his wife’s indiscreet love-affair with another man are leaked to the “press.”

According to the latest issue of the Enquirer, such a respectable and reliable publication, Cindy McCain is having an affair!  And they have the pictures to prove it.  Albeit, the pictures are of a grainy, low-quality, the witness who snapped the photos assures the Enquirer that, it is none other than Cindy.

Here’s what the witness has to say:

“I couldn’t believe I was watching Cindy McCain passionately kissing and hugging another man!”

That’s the stunned reaction of an eyewitness who says he watched in shock - and snapped photos - as the former presidential candidate’s wife romantically kissed a long-haired man who resembles “a washed-up ’80s rock musician.”

The article goes on to say:

“To my amazement, Cindy had her hand on his shoulder and was kissing him passionately on his lips,” the photog told THE ENQUIRER.

A second witness spotted Cindy and her “mystery man” at a Moody Blues concert “passionately kissing and hugging.”

“I couldn’t believe it. I remember thinking, ‘Go get a room!’

“They kissed and cuddled. While other concertgoers stood up to cheer and sing, Cindy and the guy remained entwined in their seats,” the eyewitness.

It’s really hard to tell from the pictures if that’s really Cindy McCain or not.  The woman in the photos could be any old, skinny white lady with long blonde hair.  Maybe this is a case of mistaken identity, and Mrs. McCain will set the record straight.

Until then, we’re running with the rumor.  Get the whole scoop in the latest issue of the National Enquirer.

Cheetah Girl Adrien Bailon is fuming.  According to an article in today’s Huffington Post, the young pop-star had her laptop “stolen” and the nude photos have been leaked to the press.

Here’s the statement from her spokesman:

“The photos that have surfaced of Adrienne Bailon were stolen from her laptop over a week ago at an airport in NY and sent to several media outlets. These photos were taken in private. Adrienne will be pursuing legal action against the person or person’s sending these private photos out.

The photos were intended fro her boyfriend, Rob Kardashian, brother of round-bottomed socialite Kim Kardashian.

So what is up with these Disney girls?  Are they putting something in the Kool-Aid that makes it’s young stars want to have their pictures taken with no clothes on?  Remember the Miley Cyrus picture scandal?

Well, maybe…$55 million for Johnny Depp to play Captain Sparrow- again! Don’t get me wrong, I love the Deppster as much as the next girl, but $55 million to watch him swagger about like crusty old Keith Richards- that’s just ridiculous! Just where is Hollywood getting all it’s gillions of dollars from anyways? Could they be printing their own currency? Ok, we know that the world LOVES the Pirate movies, and they made Disney booko-bucks, but $55 million? So, with that kind of money and proven success rate, why isn’t the government turning to Hollywood for help with the economic-meltdown? Clearly they have their stuff together in La-La Land, no economic crises there. What could the government learn from the movie industry? Make movies, raise funds. Here are some suggestions guaranteed to be hits:

The Dark Knight- You can’t go wrong with a super-hero movie, especially one inspired by the summer’s blockbuster hit. A Joker-like villain and his ghouls wreak havoc in “Capital City” and only the Dark Knight can save the day.

Pennsylvania Avenue Pit Bulls- A lovable, wise-cracking pit bull is lost in D.C. and she has to find her way back home to the Adirondacks, but first she must escape from evil dog-nappers who plan to ransom her. Talking dogs, a silly premise, and celebrity voices are a fail-proof formula that works for Disney time and again.

Forgetting Sarah Palin- A romantic-comedy for the stoner crowd, based on Judd Appatow’s summer hit. An ambitious small-town politician dumps her loser boyfriend in the hopes of making it to the White House. But things don’t go as planned for the title star, when her running mate turns out to be a dud. Will the boyfriend take her back? Wait a minute, I think we’ve seen this one already…

Arctic Thunder- Four wash-outs try to revive their political careers by starring in an action film set in the Arctic, their mission is to stop renegade, environmental terrorists from saving the polar bears and interferring with a big oil company, trouble is they think they’re still shooting a movie. Lots of slap-stick and bathroom humor guarantees box-office success.

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I bet you woke up this morning confused about whether or not you have socialist leanings - I know I did. With the recent resurgence of American socialism and un-American activities that John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Michelle Bachmann are suddenly so very scared of, we thought we would lend a hand in determining just how socialist YOU are. We have devised this little test based on the logic of these kindly folks to help YOU, the average Carl the Carpenter, decide whether the time has come to turn yourself in to the thought police.

1. What is the population of your town?

a) Over 2,000,000 (add 40 points)
b) 500,000-1,999,999 (add 20 points)
c) 100,000-999,999 (add 10 points)
c) 5,000-500,000 (add 0 points)
d) Under 5,000 (subtract -10 points)

2. Should members of the United States Congress be investigated for “Anti-American” views?

a) No. (Add 20 points)
b) Yes. (Add 0 points)
c) Yes, but just 316 of them (add 10 points)

3. Do you “just get it“?

a) Yes (add 0 Points)
b) No (add 10 points)

4. Do you pal around with terrorists? If so, how many? (add one point for each terrorist you associate with)

5. When I say “cow” you think:

a) Dinner (add 0 points)
b) Moooo (add 5 points)
b) Animal (add 10 points)
c) Sarah Palin (add 30 points)

6. Describe your reaction to the following quote: “I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.”

a) ‘Alarming!’ (add 30 points)
b) ‘Sounds goshdarn vice-presidential’ (add 0 points)
c) ‘The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will as of this date’ (subtract -10 points for getting the Simpsons reference, add 40 points for being a smart ass socialist)

7. The federal government redistributing $700 Billion for big business and partially nationalizing banks is socialist.

a) Gosh I don’t know (add 0 points)
b) Golly, maybe? (add 0 points)
c) Sarah’s wink means no (add 0 points)

It recently occurred to us at rumorreport.com to wonder what exactly will become of la Palin after Nov. 4 in the event that she is not elected VP. Of course, to state the perfectly obvious, she still has plenty of time to serve in the Governor’s mansion. But we do wonder what other opportunities might await the woman of the hour - here are a few ideas that cross our minds (in order of increasing likeliness):

	Sarah Palin permanently joins the cast of SNL Not very likely. Not likely at all. Yes, SNL enjoyed it’s best ratings since Nancy Kerrigan - but at a terrible terrible price. Perhaps you didn’t notice, but it seems that the SNL writers put so much focus on the Palin skits that the rest of the show suffered awfully. In fact, the quality was so low that it reminded us much of the malaise that SNL was in during the early 90’s when Kerrigan showed up for her visit…… Beyond this, we will disagree with the vast majority of…well, everybody, and observe that Palin seemed irritated, annoyed, and generally uptight for much of her appearance. Her body language seemed hostile and resentful. I could have sworn I was watching my high school science teacher pissed off at her rowdy class this last Saturday Night. I think somehow that Palin’s comedy days are already over.
	Presidential Run in 2012 Although many believe that Palin will be well positioned for a 2012 run, we at rumorreport.com could not disagree more. It seems that (rightly or wrongly) much of the blame for a failed 2008 McCain bid will fall squarely on Palin. Would you like a preview? Click here to read what Republican Ken Adelman recently said about McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin (scroll to 2nd item). Beyond this, a 2008 loss would most likely cause the Republican party to undertake some serious soul searching with an ultimate goal of striking out on a new path. We simply don’t see Palin being re-invited to this party.
	Senator Palin, Governor Palin, or Citizen Palin? Debate amongst yourselves: Can Palin return to Alaska and seize a second term as governor? She began this race as one of the most locally popular governors in the county but she has since been dealt the blow of a major investigation and with being the great polarizer on the campaign trail (thanks John!) Indeed, Palin may find that any bi-partisan support she enjoyed a mere 6 months may have blown away like so many snowflakes. On the other hand, Palin will probably return to Alaska having learned every trick in the book. But don’t take our word for it - click here to read what Alaska is saying (be sure to check out the +430 comments on this article!) Yet another possibility is that Palin will set her sites on the senate seat opening in 2010. This is a strong possibility, particularly if Palin would like to position herself for a presidential run in 2012. We wonder however if perhaps Sarah Palin won’t take an early retirement from politics to focus on other opportunities - read on…….
	Time’s Person of the Year Stranger things have happened and stranger choices have been made for this ‘distinction’. Although the obvious choice in ‘08 may seem to be a triumphant Barack Obama, the fact of the matter is that Palin may be one of the most instantly popular news sensations in recent history - certainly in the arena of politics. Also, let us not forget that while we could always see Obama win this title in future years, Sarah Palin’s time in the sun may fade much faster. Photo by Comandante Agi
	Sarah Palin Writes a Book. Or Many Books. See articles here and here. Indeed, others are already writing tongue in cheek pieces for her, such as The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin. How could she NOT sign a book deal? Photo by by Poldavo (Alex)
	The Sarah Palin Show Our best guess and strong gut feeling is that Sarah Palin will “go directly to TV”. This almost seems inevitable at this point. Could anyone on the planet possibly garner higher ratings as a conservative commentator? We doubt it. Stay tuned, we practically guarantee that there will be a TV show/Book deal with Fox News announced in the near future. The only question in our minds: will Tina Fey be invited to the show?

Ah, celebrity couples…so glamorous…so famous…so doomed!

Seriously, is anyone really surprised that the mega-couple Madonna and Guy Ritchie would be calling it quits? Madge hasn’t always been known for her LTRs. And we all know that to a celebrity couple, a high-profile relationship is just another notch on their publicity bed-post.

So here’s our forecast of other starry-eyed couples headed for Splitsville:

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller- Charlie is giving marriage another try, and his wife is expecting a baby boy. We predict this couple breaks before her water does.

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer- After her divorce from Brad Pitt, Aniston has been setting the bar really low for her choice in men, Mayer is no exception. What could she want with Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds?

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon- Hey Nick, remember the crazy lady who tried to lure you with the ice cream when you were a kid?…Uh, yeah, you married her.

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo- On-again-off-again-on-again–you’re making us nauseous! And now she says she wants six kids? Seriously, stop, before we puke!

John McCain and Sarah Palin- It was fun while it lasted. We give ‘em 20 more days before this Mavericky Duo call it quits for good! And we can’t be any more pleased.

Poor Sarah Palin, the press media just won’t let up with the rumors and lies, they keeps us at the edge of our seat, anticipating the next juicy tidbit about America’s favorite Maverick. But before the Palin-McCain camp unleashed their smear campaign against Barack Obama, Sarah Palin was already the victim of some pretty vicious rumors. This election has proven to be the most entertaining and frightening spectacle of a political circus, thanks mostly to Mrs. Palin. But this November when it’s all said and done, we’ll have some precious memories of Decision 08. Here’s a rundown of our favorite Sarah Palin rumors.

1. Sarah Palin had an extra-marital affair with her husband Todd’s business partner Brad Hansen. Both parties adamantly deny any extra-marital hanky-panky, but judging from her affinity to goatees and to gun-toting, snowmobile-driving rednecks, one would easily make that assumption.
2. Sarah Palin shoots wolves and polar bears from a plane. Ok, call her Elmer Fudd in heels, but don’t call her unethical. Even hunters have code of conduct or something, right?
3. Sarah Palin faked her pregnancy of Trig in order to cover-up daughter Bristol’s pregnancy. I wouldn’t put it past her to do something this extreme, who wouldn’t want to cover up the fact that abstinence-only sex ed is a failure, especially if you’re the one implementing it in the first place, but to fake a pregnancy?
4. Sarah Palin’s seventeen year-old daughter was impregnated by her own father. We can’t believe that someone would stoop so low as to suggest something this vile, but it’s out there, though we had ahard time finding where this ugly rumor got started.
5. Sarah Palin’s youngest son Trig is an alien baby. This one is really disturbing, although luckily it never really quite took off. The youngest of the Palin brood has been subject to so much speculation it’s not surprising this would make it to the blog-osphere.
6. Sarah Palin is the Anti-Christ. That’s a really bad one, despite suspicions that she bears the sign of the beast under her porno-rrific bouffant, this one is totally untrue. Although, it does make you wonder.