Sarah Palin Rumor Round-up

By mous on 10/10/08 6:56am
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Poor Sarah Palin, the press media just won't let up with the rumors and lies, they keeps us at the edge of our seat, anticipating the next juicy tidbit about America's favorite Maverick. But before the Palin-McCain camp unleashed their smear campaign against Barack Obama, Sarah Palin was already the victim of some pretty vicious rumors. This election has proven to be the most entertaining and frightening spectacle of a political circus, thanks mostly to Mrs. Palin. But this November when it's all said and done, we'll have some precious memories of Decision 08. Here's a rundown of our favorite Sarah Palin rumors.

  1. Sarah Palin had an extra-marital affair with her husband Todd's business partner Brad Hansen. Both parties adamantly deny any extra-marital hanky-panky, but judging from her affinity to goatees and to gun-toting, snowmobile-driving rednecks, one would easily make that assumption.
  2. Sarah Palin shoots wolves and polar bears from a plane. Ok, call her Elmer Fudd in heels, but don't call her unethical. Even hunters have code of conduct or something, right?
  3. Sarah Palin faked her pregnancy of Trig in order to cover-up daughter Bristol's pregnancy. I wouldn't put it past her to do something this extreme, who wouldn't want to cover up the fact that abstinence-only sex ed is a failure, especially if you're the one implementing it in the first place, but to fake a pregnancy?
  4. Sarah Palin's seventeen year-old daughter was impregnated by her own father. We can't believe that someone would stoop so low as to suggest something this vile, but it's out there, though we had ahard time finding where this ugly rumor got started.
  5. Sarah Palin's youngest son Trig is an alien baby. This one is really disturbing, although luckily it never really quite took off. The youngest of the Palin brood has been subject to so much speculation it's not surprising this would make it to the blog-osphere.
  6. Sarah Palin is the Anti-Christ. That's a really bad one, despite suspicions that she bears the sign of the beast under her porno-rrific bouffant, this one is totally untrue. Although, it does make you wonder.