The Rumor Report

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I bet you woke up this morning confused about whether or not you have socialist leanings - I know I did. With the recent resurgence of American socialism and un-American activities that John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Michelle Bachmann are suddenly so very scared of, we thought we would lend a hand in determining just how socialist YOU are. We have devised this little test based on the logic of these kindly folks to help YOU, the average Carl the Carpenter, decide whether the time has come to turn yourself in to the thought police.

1. What is the population of your town?

a) Over 2,000,000 (add 40 points)
b) 500,000-1,999,999 (add 20 points)
c) 100,000-999,999 (add 10 points)
c) 5,000-500,000 (add 0 points)
d) Under 5,000 (subtract -10 points)

2. Should members of the United States Congress be investigated for “Anti-American” views?

a) No. (Add 20 points)
b) Yes. (Add 0 points)
c) Yes, but just 316 of them (add 10 points)

3. Do you “just get it“?

a) Yes (add 0 Points)
b) No (add 10 points)

4. Do you pal around with terrorists? If so, how many? (add one point for each terrorist you associate with)

5. When I say “cow” you think:

a) Dinner (add 0 points)
b) Moooo (add 5 points)
b) Animal (add 10 points)
c) Sarah Palin (add 30 points)

6. Describe your reaction to the following quote: “I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.”

a) ‘Alarming!’ (add 30 points)
b) ‘Sounds goshdarn vice-presidential’ (add 0 points)
c) ‘The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will as of this date’ (subtract -10 points for getting the Simpsons reference, add 40 points for being a smart ass socialist)

7. The federal government redistributing $700 Billion for big business and partially nationalizing banks is socialist.

a) Gosh I don’t know (add 0 points)
b) Golly, maybe? (add 0 points)
c) Sarah’s wink means no (add 0 points)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 21st, 2008 at 8:25 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.