I think I have finally and at long last discovered the way to be famous. In fact, I have such a clear path to fame and fortune (and no it is not through blogging, sadly) that young men will follow me everywhere.

I am going to be a guest star on Oprah. Ope, or her producers for that matter, are not aware that I am planning an appearance on the show, but that really isn’t so important at this stage in the game.

Oprah’s expert guests seem to get their own tv shows. Obviously, having your own show is the best way to reach fame.

I have yet to decide what my particular area of expertise will be. Maybe I will be like Tyra and talk about my modeling career. Please note that my modeling career would have to start soon and would have to cater to the plus-sized (which is not always so bad if you have seen the Glamour ad). I would also have to ignore the reality that I am slightly older than the average model......by about 15-20 years, but with plastic surgery being so advanced, I really don’t see an obstacle.

Or perhaps I will be like Dr. Phil. I will go back to school or buy a cheap and fast Doctorate online and get people to tell me their real life relationship problems. I will advise them either a. to shut up or b. diet or c. start watching of me more on Orah. I would have to get a slogan. "Get Real" has already been taken, so I think telling people to shut up will have to suffice.

As I type this, Dr. Oz is on TV. I think he will be harder to beat as he actually seems to have more expertise than Tyra ("Models are usually too thin." or "I didn't get beautiful until I started modeling."). However,  if I took the 8 years to get an actual  medical degree, I am positive I could say something of use.

If I wanted to use the expertise that I already have (which is slightly limited) I could  advise people on how to sit or lay comfortably on the couch by pushing  stupid decorative cushions out of the way to get more comfortable when watching tv. (I think this would be useful to the Oprah-watching population who are usually so busy taking care of children and cleaning that they don't have the time to relax.) Failing that, I could always start a show about navigating the way through the beer and wine aisle in the grocery store, also useful.

Whichever path I take, I am sure it will be all right.