Heidi Montag’s mom is my hero. She told her shallow, vacant daughter the blatant truth, what anyone who  has laid eyes on this crazy girl can see: she’s vain, insecure and talentless.

"She was saying how sad it is that my confidence is gone because of the music industry I'm trying to get into." – Heidi Montag, said about her mother.

Heidi Montag: prettier on the oustside, uglier on the inside.

Her poor mother must feel like a mother bird who’s chick has been handled. Heidi would be lucky if her mother didn’t roll her out of the nest for this idiot move. The best thing about this is how Heidi tanked a face and body that was naturally more spectacular than 98 percent of the population.

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Ex-Governor Rod BlagojevichIn case you are keeping tabs, you can add Rod Blagojevich (who is not blacker than Obama) to the increasingly long list of names of people that I would willingly puke on if given the chance to do so, particularly at a public event. For a re-cap of Rod Blogovich’s high crimes and misdemeanors, check out his Wikipedia page, which looks more like a rap-sheet than the bio of a former Governor of one of our larger states.


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A Kiss from BeyonceAh, the Grammies.

Grammy memories: First of all, Lady Gaga, if she is indeed a lady, is not the super-star she thought she was and I am more than a little peeved at Sir Elton John for giving his heart away so easily. First to Marilyn Monroe (Goodbye, Norma Jean), then Lady Di, and now he is crooning how wonderful life is with “Gaga in the world”- all I have to say is Gagagag-gross!



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Hot in SpanxI could not resist sharing this from the Huffington Post. Julia Louise Dreyfuss who just turned 48 (48 years old people) is still absolutely smoking hot and apparently unafraid and unabashed about the secret to her bodacious bod-Spanx! Who knew? I'm telling you ladies, all we have to do is somehow miraculously smoosh our size-whatever bodies into those miracle wonders (which are like the miracle bras but in reverse) and we, too, will look like Julia Louise Dreyfuss when and if we ever reach the tender and still incredibly sexy age of 48. Or so she says....

 

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"You want me to do WHAT with my money?"You know, it's times like these that make it clear that Rush Limbaugh is his own worst enemy.  If Rush didn't want people to hate him, then the way forward is obvious.  Instead, Rush has chosen to attack the credibility of everyone who has ragged on him for saying what he did about Haiti last week, and to try and misdirect our attention away from what he did say.

Rush constantly falls back on the "I'm being quoted out of context" excuse, combined with "That isn't what I meant."  So let's look at what he said last week.  On the topic of Haiti, Rush Limbaugh said "We've already donated to Haiti.  It's called the U.S. income tax."


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Are These Women Fat?Via the Stranger.

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You Betcha!The Republicans seem to be taking over the airwaves at a rapid-fire pace. First, George Bush’s daughter got a job at NBC as some kind of education commenter. Nice to have connections, isn’t it?

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Tiger's CoverThrough Salon, I discovered Tiger Woods’ abs on the cover of Vanity Fair, which did not disappoint. I am of the opionion that he probably got his abs tightened after following the  links on the remove belly fat advertisements on Facebook, but the Vanity Fair article did not speculate about that.

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I Will Be a Guest on the Oprah ShowI think I have finally and at long last discovered the way to be famous. In fact, I have such a clear path to fame and fortune (and no it is not through blogging, sadly) that young men will follow me everywhere.

I am going to be a guest star on Oprah. Ope, or her producers for that matter, are not aware that I am planning an appearance on the show, but that really isn’t so important at this stage in the game.

Oprah’s expert guests seem to get their own tv shows. Obviously, having your own show is the best way to reach fame.


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Wham!George Michael, who was my absolute favorite pop star as a 12-year-old girl apparently takes Sublime's "Smoke two joints in the morning"  a little too seriously.

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