Grading the Rumored Dancing with the Stars Contestants.

Grading the Rumored Dancing with the Stars Contestants.

Has this series officially run out of stars?

I can think of plenty more interesting celebrities to dance the samba on the upcoming season of "Dancing with the Stars," which debuts March 19, than the four revealed this week by gossip site TMZ:
  • Jack Wagner, singer, soap star of "Bold and the Beautiful" and the former cast member of 1990s hit show "Melrose Place."
  • Sherri Shepherd, irritating dimwit of Barbara Walter's cackling hen morning show "The View."
  • Melissa Gilbert, the girl who played "Half Pint" or Laura Ingalls Wilder in the 1970s series "Little House on the Prairie."  I used to adore Gilbert until she pitched a Twitter fit after the women of "The Talk" smashed a pie in her face during a guest appearance. She seems like a boring stick in the mud. Get ready for her to tweet her disdain for any pranks on DWTS.
  • Maria Menounos, the pretty, but cookie-cutter contributor to "Extra."

Maria and Jack might be interesting to watch, even if only for being eye-candy. So, I give producers a B- for casting them. Why not an A? What part of "stars" do producers not understand? Jack's heyday was decades ago when his hit single "You're All I Need" fall off the charts.  And Maria has NEVER been a star; she only interviews them.

Casting Shepherd, who has shamelessly begged to prance her piglet rear  on the show for years, is a definite F. She's infuriating on the "The View" so why do we need to see more of her? Not only is she so dimwitted that she thought the world was flat and didn't know there were people on earth before Jesus, but Sherri's one of those women who thinks they're funny, sexy and interesting, but they are none of the above. Watch her try to hog camera time while grinning incessantly, talking about abortions and thrusting her grossly oversized chest out for the world to see.

I like formerly freckled face Gilbert, but if she can't take a pie in the face joke, she's hardly ready for the stinging criticism from dance judges.

There are plenty of intriguing and provocative "stars" who are right now doing nothing, such as Eminem (can he dance as well as he can insult?), Mike Tyson (always good for a laugh), Justin Timberlake (hey, he's showing up on SNL every other week; this man needs something to do in his spare time), and John Mayer (doesn't he need some redemption and renewal of popularity?).  Any of these people would have made for more interesting "star" entertainment.